Ian Clayton's testimony of seeing the Father -- from
chapter 10 of his book: "Realms of the Kingdom Volume 1"
"When
the priests came out of the holy place, the cloud filled the house of
the Lord, so that the priests could not continue ministering because
of the cloud; for the glory of the Lord filled the house of the Lord.
Then Solomon spoke: "The Lord said He would dwell in the dark cloud."
(1 Kings 8:10-12)
I want to teach on something that has been very dear to my heart. It
is a revelation that has built a place of tremendous tenderness and
intimacy between God and me. All of my Christian life and Christian
experience I have wanted to know God as a friend. The only person who
I could think of whoever did that was Enoch. I knew by heart the little
that was written about him and I also read the book of Enoch. It is
really radical! The purposeful pursuit of the presence of God needs
to be your single desire. Not for a spiritual experience. It is not
about having a spiritual experience; it is about your desire to encounter
God, which then creates the atmosphere for a spiritual experience. If
you chase the experience then you will often get an experience but there
will be no long-lasting fruit from it. You need to chase the person
of God.
One of the easiest ways of learning to engage the realm of Heaven is
to engage the realm of the Kingdom that is in you. It is the Kingdom
that is in you that transitions you and enables you to be seated with
Christ in heavenly places, far above the demonic (Ephesians 1:20-21;
2:6). It is an instant transition; you do not have to go through any
realm or layers. So one minute I am here engaging this Kingdom, the
next minute I am in the realm of Heaven engaging and thoroughly enjoying
the realm of Heaven. Then I can step back through the realm of Heaven
bringing all the glory with me. Guess what happens to darkness when
light comes in? The greatest truth that is hidden is that darkness cannot
penetrate light. You, being a child of light, walk in the light and
you will have fellowship, one with another (1 John 1:17). Where does
your fellowship happen when you walk in the light? -In Heaven; and you
experience the reality of love on the earth. Fellowship in Heaven creates
love on the earth because you are bonded one to another.
This teaching is something very dear to me. It came out of an experience
that was a death in my life, but then it produced life around me. One
of the things that I have learned is that whenever something happens
around your life; it happens for a purpose. For me, a circumstance happened,
some time ago, where there was tremendous injustice. I came to terms
with the reality of the injustice through being able to be in the spirit,
being able to go and see what had happened in a meeting and know what
was said there, which is sometimes a blessing and sometimes not! That
is part of the life of being in the spirit. Through the pain of injustice,
after having to get to grips with what to do with all this, I can remember
standing before the Lord. He said to me, "My son stood before Pilate
and did not say anything. Are you prepared to die?" I said, "Yes,
Lord." I did know it would take a year of going to the Cross 140
times a day!
Every day, day after day, knowing who those people were, I had to love
them at the Cross. The Cross is the pinnacle of all spiritual experience.
It is the springboard that leads you into spiritual encounter. Through
some of the things I experienced in that place and that time I began
to realise that my pain was supposed to be a springboard to drive me
into intimacy with God. So, instead of going into my pain and all the
rubbish that goes with it, I realised that if I could hit my pain and
use it as a springboard to drive me to God, then I could retrain my
thinking and my desires. So I would look forward to the time when the
pain would come because it was my springboard to engage God. But I had
to go to the Cross and I had to die at the Cross, to the injustice and
all the feelings related to the injustice. I had to nail it all to the
Cross.
It took me about six months to realise that God would keep on doing
this, year after year, unless I realised my pain was supposed to be
this springboard. Pain is supposed to be under our feet. Instead it
was sitting over my head. I would be walking around work and these angry
thoughts would start going around my mind. We are all subject to sin.
I began to realise that when these feelings started I could hit the
Cross and use it as a springboard to drive me towards God as a friend
and a Father, because He is my source of rescue. The Bible says:
"I will lift up my eyes to the hills - from whence comes my
help? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth. He will
not allow your foot to be moved." (Psalms 121:1-3)
Verse 5 continues to talk about what God is to you and me:
"...the LORD is your keeper" (Psalms 121:5)
He will keep me in this place. He will bring me to a place of encounter
with His presence. If I knew the encounter I was going to come into
I would have died willingly, knowing what was there. But there are times
when God does things because He wants to check the integrity of your
heart, whether you are willing to die where no one sees, where no one
is going to reward you and pat you on the back except Him. You see,
it is all about Him.
Through that time I began to realise that there was more. God wanted
to bring me into something more. So for about ten or eleven months I
began to be aware that when I would use this pain as a springboard I
would go into the realm of Heaven and begin to experience this 'terror.'
I always thought that fear was associated with demons because God did
not make fear. Well, yes He did actually because:
"It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living
God" (Hebrews 10:31).
So I began to become aware that there were things happening that I
had no knowledge of. I had never heard of anybody talk about this. I
had inklings that we were able to meet with God, but no one had ever
said, "Ian, I have talked with God face to face." But the
Bible said Moses did (Exodus 33:11) and: "Blessed are the pure
in heart, for they shall see God." (Matthew 5:8)
The Bible says you are going to see Him. I had all these scriptures
going round in my brain as I was going through this process, because
I wanted to know God. My desire in life is I want to know God. I want
to know Him. I want to be able to sit with Him as a mate and talk with
Him about what I am doing. God is as interested in you and what you
are doing in Heaven as you are about Him. Did you know that? Jesus said:
"he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also;
and greater works than these he will do." (John 14:12)
The Bible says that. Do you agree with the Word? Okay, did God create
a universe? The purposeful pursuit of God has our brains skidding around
corners! The purposeful pursuit of God should be your desire. I began
to become aware that there was more to the person of God than I had
ever experienced. These five things need to be taught in the church:
1) The realm of God; His dominion; His influence; His power; and His
authority
2) The place of God and where He does His business
3) The function of God and what He does in Heaven
4) The role of God and how He does it
5) The person of God and who He is
Nowhere did I hear people talking about the person of God and who He
is. I got so hungry, I wanted to know God. So everywhere the Bible said
"God," I would start to read. I got the concordance out and
there are about 4,900 or more scriptures where it says "God - Elohim/Yahweh"
and I began to read the scriptures, one after the other, trying to get
to know God. I wanted to know God as my Father. I have a right as a
son to get to know God as my Father. I have a right as a son to get
to know Him as a Father.
I came across an interesting scripture which talks about the treasures
of darkness:
"I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches
of secret places, that you may know that I, the LORD, Who call you by
your name, am the God of Israel" (Isaiah 45:3).
I began to ponder these treasures of darkness and to think, "God,
what on earth is this treasure of darkness that Your Bible talks about
there?" Little scriptures like that populate your brain and you
read the Bible and think "Whoa! What is going on there?" So
I began to hold it in my heart.
"They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the
sea." (1 Corinthians 10:2 NIV).
It is talking about Israel, how they met with God at Mount Sinai and
about the darkness that was around Mount Sinai and the cloud that was
there. Suddenly the treasure of darkness started to look like it might
be the cloud of darkness, where the presence of the glory of God is.
There is a difference between demonic darkness and a veil of darkness.
I began to go through the Bible for the word 'darkness.' There are about
six or seven different meanings in the Greek and Hebrew that mean darkness
and it actually does not mean dark, it means something totally different.
Suddenly I realised that the terror I was feeling when I saw this darkness
actually was not terror of the demonic. It was an awareness of my absolute
impurity. It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of God because
when you stand in His presence all that you are is made absolutely open
and plain to be seen.
God is a person. He is not just an ultimate power source for you and
me. It is important for us to connect with God on the basis of friendship,
not on a need basis. God Himself has a need, did you know that? God
has one need - the need for someone to love Him. I do not know what
I would do without my family, because they nurture me as a father. How
do they do that? They just love me. In all my hobnailed boots and the
nakedness of my soul, they love me. If that is what it is like in the
natural, how much more in the spirit? God has a yearning for us to experience
Him and to love on Him. So, I had all these thoughts going around in
my brain and I suddenly had all these scriptures going on too.
Seeing and being part of the realm of God, the place of God, the function
of God and the role of God is wonderful and they will change your life
- but for me, I found it was still not enough. I knew there was more
to Him than the God that I saw on the throne in the majesty and burning
fire, with the angels and the things that go on there, because on the
seventh day Heaven shuts down. I began to think, "God gets off
His throne on the seventh day, because it says He rests and He does
not have to do anything." I know because I have been to Heaven.
So I wanted to know what He did and what He was like. I started to ask
the question, "Father, what are you like when you get off the throne?"
When I am at work, I have government in my work place. I am different
from how I am at home, although I am the same person. I carry something
different. When I am in church teaching I carry something different.
Then when I go home I can be open with my kids and I am a family man,
I can enjoy life. I wanted that 'enjoying life' thing. It is great to
know the authority in church, to know the power around you, but it does
not bring you into relationship that allows you to know about someone.
It does not allow you to know who they are.
So I began to meditate around all these things. It is important to
understand, when a door opens in the realm of the spirit for us and
God begins to quicken us, if you do not work with the door that God
has given you until it comes to fruition, you will lose it and something
else will stand in that door - and usually it is a demon. So when a
door has been opened in the spirit for you, with knowledge that is starting
to come and a yearning and a desire, you need to keep on that path until
you find its fruit. I understand that, because I have seen what happens
when you do not keep the door open. So I began to chase God. I did now
know how to do it, all I knew was Enoch walked with God.
I began to ask in my heart, "God, who are you?" I asked a
question which I now know the answer to, "What were You before
You were?" You know, when you lived in the 'was' before the 'is'?
What 'was' You?" The Bible says, the God:
"who is and who was and who is to come" (Revelation
1:4).
I now understand the process and how it all works. "But God, what
'was' You? I want to know what You were. I want to know You. I want
a relationship with You beyond just having an ultimate power source.
I want to know You, I want to know who you are."
"And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true
God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent." (John 17:3)
It does not just say you may know Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, the
church has got stuck there. The scripture says to know God and Jesus,
who are two distinct persons. But they are in such unity that they are
One, because each One's desire is bound up with the other, just like
you have a body, a soul and a spirit. You are one but you actually have
three different functions inside you. It is the same with the Godhead.
We are made just like Him - you are made in the image of God. The issue
is to know Him.
"the pure in heart ... shall see God" (Matthew 5:8)
So how do I become pure in heart? The Blood of Jesus is the only way.
I can remember having an encounter with the Pillar of Fire in my room
over a seven day period. At first the Pillar of Fire was there for about
fifteen seconds, but then I said, "Lord, You need to go, I cannot
handle this anymore." Then it went on and I was able to handle
it for a longer period of time because the more familiar you become
with it the longer you can stay in His presence. The more you are changed
into the image of the One that is there, His image, you do not get consumed
by the fire. When fire burns it does not consume something; it actually
changes the nature of it. What is displayed as flame is the gases that
are coming out of that changing nature. So the more you draw near to
the fire and the glory of God the more that nature changes your nature
and conforms you to the fire. What comes off your life is the dross
being burned. God is changing our nature. The Bible says:
"Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied
in Your name, cast out demons in your name, and done many wonders in
your name?'" (Matthew 7:22).
I found myself standing in front of the Pillar of Fire in my bedroom
and a sword would come out of the fire and go across me. I found myself
saying, "But Lord I have prophesied in Your Name" and the
sword came back across me; "But Lord I have fed the poor in Your
Name," and the sword swung across me again; "But Lord..."
I got to the stage where I had no more 'but's' left to justify myself
being in the presence of God. The only thing that makes you pure in
heart is the Blood of Jesus Christ. Out of this flame came a Lamb and
stood in front of the flame and the Lord said to me, "The only
way you can come into My glory is by the blood of the Lamb. Now come."
I put my hand into that flame and my arm went totally transparent. Then
I pulled it out and it became my flesh again. I would put it in and
think, "Wow! Glory! Look at this" because I want to know Him.
The only way you can know Him is to hang around Him, understanding fire,
the terror that happens there and the desire to know Him.
John the apostle makes an amazing statement. He says, this God is:
"the One who was from the beginning. We have seen Him with our
own eyes; heard Him with our own ears, and touched Him with our own
hands" (1 John 1:1 VOICE).
In that scripture there is a woven truth: not only can I hear Him,
which the church is very efficient at doing, but I can see Him. Not
only can I see Him, but my hands can handle Him too. Another translation
puts it like this:
"I myself have seen him with my own eyes and listened to him
speak. I have touched him with my own hands" (1 John 1:1 TLB).
So that means I have a legal right to go and touch my Father. My family
would not be very impressed if I did not touch them. When I come home
my son comes running out and we have a hug. I am not afraid of showing
affection to them and they are not afraid of showing affection with
me. How much more should we be like that with God? How do you show someone
affection? You do not sit on the throne at the other side of the room
and have them stand twenty-five miles away worshipping you. The way
you show them affection is you walk up to them, you embrace them, you
be with them, you hang around them, you sit with them and care for the
things they care for.
"The God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may
give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of
Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may
know what is the hope of His calling." (Ephesians 1:17-18)
It is not about your calling, it is about His calling. His calling
is that you would be a son or daughter of His, a spirit child before
the Lord; His child. He wants you to know His calling for you. His calling
is that you would know Him; that you would be with Him; that you would
experience Him; that you would understand Him; that you would talk with
Him, not just have Him talk to you.
The church has been taught how to listen to Him and they are very proficient
at hearing the voice of God, but they are not so good at standing before
God talking to Him. That is because they have never been taught that
you can go to Heaven and talk with Him.
There are two key issues that flow like a vein of gold through all
the scriptures:
1) I can know the Father, and 2) I can talk with Him and see Him, not
only while He is on the throne but also off the throne.
"For now we see through a glass, darkly, but then face to face"
(1 Corinthians 13:12).
"Lord, what is this darkly stuff? If I see now darkly, then face
to face, what is this darkly thing?" There is obviously some progression
through 'darkly' to 'face' to 'face.' Would you agree? In Genesis 15
it says:
"As the sun was going down [setting], Abram fell into a deep
sleep. While he was asleep, a very terrible [or frightening] darkness
came" (Genesis 15:12 EXB).
In all my Christian experience darkness had always been associated
with demon spirits. This comes from the doctrinal belief that when Jesus
died and it got dark - that the darkness was demonic. I wonder if it
was demonic or if we just believed it was? The Bible does not say, but
does talk about the darkness that descended:
"It was now about the sixth hour (midday), and the darkness
enveloped the whole land and earth until the ninth hour (about three
o'clock in the afternoon), While the sun's light faded or was darkened"
(Luke 23:44-45 AMP).
I wonder if it was God coming to stand and watch over His Son? Deuteronomy
5 says:
"And when you heard the voice out of the midst of the darkness,
while the mountain was burning with fire, you came near me, all the
heads of your tribes and elders; And you said, Behold, the Lord our
God has shown us His glory and His greatness, and we have heard His
voice out of the midst of the fire; we have this day seen that God speaks
with man and man still lives" (Deuteronomy 5:23-24 AMP).
So wherever there is this 'darkly' and 'dark', there is God; and wherever
God is, you can talk with Him. So why does the Bible refer to the voice
out of the midst of darkness?
"Then Solomon said, The Lord said that He would dwell in the
thick darkness" (1Kings 8:12 and 2 Chronicles 6:1 AMP).
"for God made my heart weak, And the Almighty terrifies me; Because
I was not cut off from the presence of darkness, And He did not hide
deep darkness from my face" (Job 23:16-17)
"Clouds and darkness are round about Him [as at Sinai]; righteousness
and justice are the foundation of His throne" (Psalm 97:2 AMP).
So clouds and darkness are about Him. I wonder what He is like in the
cloud? I wonder what He looks like? If people can speak to Him in the
cloud, that means He is not on the throne. That means I have access
to be near Him when He is off the throne. Why the darkness when He comes
off the throne? A veil is an amazing thing. It covers the full reality
of the person so you cannot see - thus, you see darkly. The cloud is
a veil that surrounds the very Person of God, not just when He sits
on the throne with governmental authority, but as our Father, with absolute
power, absolute purity and absolute dominion - we have a right to speak
to Him face to face.
My journey with the springboard came with all these scriptures and
my meditating around them, trying to get to grips with this darkness
and horror that I felt under this coming veil. When I got into the Bible
and looked up the word 'horror', I found that it means 'absolutely in
terror'. Not just being afraid, but in terror. I began to become aware
that every time I would springboard into this place that the horror
and the terror would grow. I began to hate going there, but was so fascinated
and so yearning to know Him that I would go anyway. The most amazing
thing is that you not only become aware of yourself but you become aware
of the yearning of God in that cloud. On the day of the fall: "the
Lord God called to Adam and said to him, 'Where are you?'"
(Genesis 3:9)
God was not on His throne when He said that, He was walking in Eden.
When God finishes on the seventh day He has one purpose - that is to
see who is coming to draw near Him. he wants a relationship with us.
There are three common threads that run through all these scriptures:
1) Every single one of these people had a deep personal encounter with
the Person of God.
2) There is darkness all around Him as a veil, as a cloud,
3) They are all connected with the dread or horror or awareness of His
absolute holiness and absolute power.
The Greek and Hebrew use six different words which are translated 'darkness'.
They all have similar elements: It is thick; it always covers around
the Person of God (not His realm); all of the words express an attitude
of surrender by the one that encounters it.
In Psalm 97:2 the word 'darkness' means to dread or to be afraid, to
fear or to shake terribly.
"The Lord said that He would dwell in the thick darkness"
(1 Kings 8:12 AMP).
The throne of God, where He displays what He is, is only part of who
He is. At Jesus' transfiguration it says:
"While he was saying these things, a cloud came and covered [overshadowed]
them, and they became afraid as the cloud covered them [they entered
the cloud]" (Luke 9:13 EXB).
I have been meditating around these scriptures and I have been thinking,
"God, I wonder what will happen if I go into that cloud? I wonder
what it is going to be like to actually be able to draw near to You
and maybe even say hello?!"
I do not know anybody who has taught this anywhere. As I am thinking,
the religious spirit gets in there saying, "You know, all the believers
say if you see God you will die". Well, actually, that is what
you are supposed to do anyway so I thought, "I have absolutely
nothing to lose! If I physically die I cannot die in any better place!
But my greatest fear was going through the cloud, because of the horror
and the terror and the shaking. That is the scary part. Here is the
most amazing thing - the scary part is all this side of the cloud. Because,
once you go into it, you become transfigured into His image. So I am
busy thinking, "Do I go in? Don't I go in? Do I go in?"
It is amazing how the flesh wants to stay alive! I had my legal will
written, as I started thinking, "If I die, what are my kids going
to think? What am I thinking anyway? If I die, He is going to take care
of them, isn't He? That is what He says." You need to go to the
Cross with all these things. There is no other way but the Cross.
The Bible talks about the priest who would go in when the cloud of
God would descend over the Holy of Holies. The priest would go in, get
the incense and swing it around. Then he would stick his hand through
the veil and swing the incense around (the veil was twelve inches thick,
did you know that?), hoping there would be enough smoke, that when he
got inside, he would not die. They used to tie those little bells on
the end of His garment so they could hear him moving around. They knew
that if there was not any noise the guy was dead - a crisp, lying on
a floor somewhere. They also used to tie a rope to his leg so that if
he fell down they could pull him out because they were afraid of going
inside (Leviticus 16:2).
Because I knew this I was thinking, "Lord, this darkness is a
veil, what am I going to do? Stick my hand in there and swing some incense
around? What am I going to do?" It is amazing how religious doctrine
tries to stop us relating one-on-one with God. I would go through this
religious process: "Father, I take the Blood of Jesus and apply
it to my life." It is great to do that, but God is more interested
in you than even the Blood. He wants you because when you are with Him
you are already sanctified by His presence, but the Blood helps you
get there. It makes you righteous. It enables you to become pure, because
when you are pure you can see God.
So I began to go through this process of praying, "Lord, I take
the Blood of Jesus and I apply it to my life, but... Oh God, I just
want You." It began to turn from a doing of all these things, to
"Lord, I just want You, Lord, I just want You, I want Your presence,
I want to know You, I want to see You, I want to talk with You."
For weeks the burning desire to talk with Him would be inside me. Then
suddenly, my pain was gone. I woke up one morning and all the clamor
of all that pain of the injustice had gone because I had turned from
my sinful nature to the realm of God. It had gone! I was feeling, "Yahoo,
I am free!" Now I was healed I had no springboard to bounce from
and I started thinking "Oh no! I am going to have to go there,
to actually make a choice myself to go there."
You have to choose, you have to make a choice to go into the presence
of God. No one else can make the decision for you. A springboard enables
you to find the pathway but then you need to choose to go along the
pathway.
"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide
under the shadow of the Almighty" (Psalms 91:1).
The clouds and the darkness are His secret place. The word 'secret
place' can be translated 'cloud' and 'darkness'; and 'shadow' can mean
'cloud' and 'darkness.' I made a choice that day, "Whatever happens
Lord, the next time I am in the spirit, standing on that hill where
your darkness is, I am going to walk into it."
You can pray in tongues all you want and think that you are going to
be ready, but when you stand there and the cloud is standing in front
of you!
"It is a terrible [dreadful; terrifying] thing to fall into
the hands of the living God" (Hebrews 10:31 EXB).
But it is also the most wonderful, blissful experience. That is the
other side of the coin, you choose what you desire. So I chose that
day, "Lord, when I stand there, I am going to come into that cloud."
You can understand, I literally wet my pants! And that is ok, the Bible
is full of men of God who did that and if it is good enough for them,
it is good enough for me. That is what washing machines are for, thank
You Jesus!
So, I can remember making a choice that day to go into the cloud of
darkness and the horror and the terror and the absolute awareness of
my sin, my nature and everything that I am not supposed to be. I am
a spirit being, I am just in this body that is a representation. When
I made a choice to walk through that cloud, all the fight was on this
side of the veil. I stepped into the dark cloud and when I came through
it, on the other side, there was this absolute total tranquility and
peace that is beyond human words to describe. I was standing in a canopy
about seven meters wide. I had all my religious beliefs like, "You
can't see the face of God because you will die," so I had my eyes
turned away. But man - I really wanted to look! And I stood there. What
do you say? I went there with a list of all these things I wanted to
ask but when I was there, how irrelevant they all were!
I can remember standing there thinking, "What am I doing here?
This is the God of the universe... I can see His feet." Let me
tell you something: God is not what you think! I kind of looked and
then thought, "I am still alive." Then I heard this drip,
drip, drip, drip, drip, as tears were falling down by His feet. He said
to me, "It has been a long time since anybody has been here, son."
I was a mess. I backed out and I was a mess for quite some time. Yet
there was this desire, wanting to go back. For the simple reason He
was crying - that was reason enough to make me go through that cloud
and face the pain. So, it took me about a week. Often, when my wife
and kids would go away I would be praying in tongues, saying "Lord
this is my time now. Every night I am going to come into Your presence,
I am going to go into the spirit and meet with You like that."
What began to happen was I got more and more bold with all the questions
I had. I had not received answers yet, but that was immaterial because
when you are there they are immaterial anyway. I do not just make small
talk with my children like, "Hi son, how are you? Great weather
we are having." If that was how my son spoke with me every day
I would slap him! He speaks to me and engages me face to face. In the
same way I was feeling, "Lord, I want to see You, I have a right
to see You." So, gradually I began to lift my eyes. Let me tell
you what God's skin is like - if you could get a mat of diamonds of
about five or six carrots each, weave them together like skin, put the
colours of the rainbow in it, make it go blue-white, burning and rippling
with fire and flickering with light, then you have an idea of what His
skin is like!
Nobody ever told me that this is what I am going to look like. The
Bible says that we will be conformed into His image (Romans 8:29), so
what He looks like is already living in me and I am going to become
like that. Hallelujah! I wonder why they covered Moses' face?
I wanted to speak to God face to face. I wanted to see Him smile at
me. If I die, I die. I cannot die in any better place. I love being
here and I am happy to spend the rest of eternity here. I do not care.
I made a choice, "God, I am going to speak to You and I am going
to look on You." I chose that day to lift my eyes slowly and when
I looked at Him a number of things happened.
Firstly, I almost got swallowed up into the eternity that is in God.
The eyes are the window of the soul; that is what the Bible says (Matthew
6:22). God is eternal and eternity dwells in Him. Eternity is in His
eyes because He is eternity. I found myself getting sucked into this
vortex of absolute wonder and glory, into the Person of God - which
is what we are supposed to do anyway. Then I started putting the brakes
on, feeling "this is too much!" Just that alone took me about
three weeks to try and get some understanding on - and it still fries
my brain! And that is okay.
What stopped me going into His eyes was the fascination of what was
happening with the outside of His body. His eyes stayed the same, that
fascinated me, but there was a transition of what was happening to His
body. His face was changing between the face of a man, a lion, an ox,
an eagle, a lion, a man, an ox, a man... I spoke with Him as a man speaks
face to face with his child - and I am still alive today.
That has totally changed my life. What made Satan ridicule God was
His vulnerability with Adam and Eve, because when He played with them
He was like a child with them. That is what Satan mocked because He
saw God with all this power and authority but with absolute vulnerability.
So when God is like that with you, He makes Himself absolutely vulnerable
with you. I am a person who loves touching things. You are allowed to
touch as a family, isn't that true? Well, God is my Father. Aren't I
allowed to touch Him?
I can remember reaching out and feeling "Man, I am going to get
fried here! But who cares, because I am in the most wonderful place
anyway." And I can remember reaching out and touching, and I expected
to get blown out of the water - out of the cloud, onto the earth, flat
on my back, with my hand fried. But what I found when I touched Him
was my yearning and my love for Him went through me into Him. This is
because His desire is to be loved by His family.
I touched Him and it was like the most warm, fuzzy feeling of comfort,
just in the touch. I have no words to describe it. Then the love of
God came through that touch back to me and that is what laid me on the
floor. It was the absolute abandonment of God towards me, as a child
that dared to come into His presence.
God is calling all of us to come into His presence. Not just to His
throne, but to the Person. You see, God is a person. He is not just
our ultimate power source. He is a person who wants a relationship with
you and me. He wants to be able to talk to you face to face. He wants
to be able to express Himself to you and talk with you. I love going
into the realm of the Kingdom and spending time just watching what happens
around the throne. Just watching is the most amazing thing you can experience.
I am trying to make this real for you. I am a normal person. I do not
consider myself super-spiritual. All I have done is pursue God, and
that is all I have done. When I chase God, people call me super-spiritual.
Does that mean that they are naturally carnal then? That is the reality.
They mock the very thing that they want, because they know that there
is a price to be paid to get it. Now you and I can reach out and touch
God and it will change you. It will change the way you do things. It
will change the way you think. It will change your life.
No one ever told me I am going to look like my Father. No one ever
told me what my Father was like. The Bible is quite clear about the
semblance of what He is like, because there are angels around Him and
they take on His image because of the power of who He is. God is our
Dad and we have His seed in us and that seed is going to make us look
like Him. You can have skin that is going to look like diamonds matted
together, moving with fire, full of glory and light blue, full of light
and flickering with power.
You can have a face that turns from lion to ox, to eagle, to man (Revelation
4:7, Ezekiel 1:10). I wonder why they covered Moses' face? Was it just
because of the glory or was it that his face was doing the same thing?
I have not spent forty days with God, I have spent about half an hour;
that was enough. Forty days and you would take on the image of the Father.
Remember, the fire changes whatever it touches. It changes that nature
into its image.
When Moses had his face covered, it was not just because of the glory,
it was the revealing of the glory, the revealing of the glories of the
faces of God. What they were terrified of was the changes in His image.
They were not afraid of the light, they were terrified of the revealing
of that light, hallelujah!
We need to spend time just worshipping Him. I love the exercise of
just worshipping God. I know that God wants to touch your life. It is
all about you encountering God and pursuing God, so that you can speak
with Him. Then you will get some more secrets and some things that will
help to bring you to a place where you can meet with Him. I am not saying
it is going to happen for you today, but you need to set your heart
and you need to make the choice to go down the pathway. The reward of
dying is absolute life! That is the good part about it.
Let us chase God. It is about you pursuing God and chasing Him. If
you find it hard, just spend some time praying in tongues or listening
to music, or words of life - just begin to engage God.
ACTIVATION
"Holy Spirit, we come as your sons and Your daughters. Father,
Your Word says You have given us free access to You. Father, You have
given us access, according to who You are, into Your presence. Your
Word says that we can come boldly before You, into Your throne room.
Father, I want more than just Your throne. I want your presence. I want
to know You - the only true God and Your Son Jesus Christ. I want to
know You Father. I want to see Your beauty and gaze at Your majesty.
Father, I know that there is terror and there is absolute awareness
of You and the nature of the body that I live in.
But Father, there is another nature. That nature is You who lives in
me. It is the nature that I turn to today. Lord, I come, Lord, like
Enoch, like Moses, like Abraham, like John, like Paul, Lord, who my
eyes have seen, my ears have heard and my hands have handled.
Lord, I come in my nakedness and my vulnerability as You say I can.
Lord, in Your Bible is says that you wait, looking for the son to come.
It says that You ran towards him, that You covered him with Your garment
(Luke 15:20-22). Lord, today I come.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Original full book from the author's website: http://www.sonofthunderpublications.org/books/